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Friday, February 25, 2011

Embarrassing moments – #32

(En español más abajo) 

 
Embarrassing moments

CanadaIt was Family Day last Monday, and -always looking forward to establishing new traditions- we all went to the pool together. I was the last one to leave the house, busy with who knows what. I grabbed my bathing suit, put a towel in my bag and away we went.

To say that the pool was full was an understatement. It was open from 3:00 to 5:00 PM that day, and it soon reached max capacity (175), so there was people lining up outside waiting for somebody to leave so they could be allowed in. By the time we left (just past 4:30 PM), there was people still coming!

Me and the boys hit the showers a little ahead of time, so we would beat rush hour. I was out there drying and about to change my clothes when I noticed that there was a little boy coming out of the showers with his dad. I decided to wait until he went past me and into the locker area, out of courtesy (and good taste).

But the little guy froze the moment he saw me and stayed just there. "Uh oh", I thought, "he probably saw my scar -product of my hip surgery- and he's going to ask me about it"... Maybe my long, mostly white beard made him think I was an incognito Santa, who knows...

Nope. The question was far more uncomfortable than I could have had anticipated. Pointing at places South, he inquired:

- Is that yours?

Five incredibly long seconds later, I was able to articulate a word :

- W...what?
- (Pointing again) Is THAT yours?
- (Looking at his Dad with desperation) What does he mean?
- (Dad is stating the obvious) He wants to know if it is really yours.

I looked at the kid again and asked him one more time. Only then I received the answer I was looking for.

He was referring to my towel! In my hurry, I had picked up a big 101 Dalmatians towel, and this kid could not believe a guy as big as me would use it.

Relieved, but also putting on my best poker face, I replied:

- This? Oh, yes, it’s mine. It’s my second best towel, actually. I couldn’t find my ‘Little Mermaid’ one anywhere…


ArgentinaEl lunes fue Family Day, así que –siempre tratando de instaurar tradiciones nuevas– nos fuimos todos a nadar. Yo fui el último en salir de la casa, ocupado en quién sabe qué cosa. Levanté mi traje de baño, manoteé una toalla al pasar y salimos.

Decir que la pileta estaba llena sería minimizar. Abrían de 3:00 a 5:00 PM ese día, y pronto llegaron a la capacidad máxima (175) así que había gente haciendo cola afuera, esperando a que alguien se fuera para poder entrar. Para cuando nosotros nos fuimos (a las 4:30PM) todavía estaba llegando gente!

Los chicos y yo salimos para la ducha temprano, así evitábamos el tráfico. Me encontraba secándome y a punto de cambiarme cuando noté que un nenito salía de la ducha junto a su padre. Decidí esperar a que pasaran rumbo a los lockers, como cortesía (y muestra de buen gusto).

Pero el nene se congeló ni bien me vio, y ahí se quedó. “Sonamos”, pensé , "debe haber visto mi cicatriz –producto de mi operación de cadera– y me va a preguntar al respecto"... O tal vez mi barba actualmente larga y prominentemente blanca le hizo pensar que soy Papa Noel de incógnito, quién sabe…

Nada de eso. La pregunta que siguió fue mucho más incómoda de lo que podría haber anticipado. Apuntó para abajo y preguntó:

- Es tuyo eso?

Pasaron cinco increíblemente largos segundos, luego de los cuales pude finalmente articular palabra:

- Q...qué?
- (Apuntando otra vez) Es tuyo ESO?
- (Mirando desesperado al padre) Qué quiere decir el nene?
- (Papi es ‘Capitán Obvio’) Quiere saber si eso es tuyo.

Lo miré al pibe de nuevo y le pregunté otra vez de qué cornos hablaba. Sólo entonces recibí la respuesta que me satisfizo.

El nene hablaba de mi toalla! En el apuro, había manoteado una toalla de los 101 dálmatas, y el pibito no podía creer que semejante bol grandulón la usara sin dramas.

Aliviado, pero mostrándome impertérrito, le respondí:

- Esta? Ah, sí, es mía. Es mi toalla de repuesto, en realidad. No pude encontrar la de ‘La Sirenita’ por ningún lado…


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6 comments:

  1. LOL! I was using a Pirates of the Caribbean towel at the pool lat weekend. It was the clean pile on top of the stack in the towel closet.

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  2. Nice! The kid was probably frozen thinking you were a pervert...

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  3. Si llevaste esa toalla no quiero ni pensar en la zunga que te habrás puesto.
    No entendí la parte de 'así evitábamos el trágico'.

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  4. Shannon, like 98% of all men, I never look at what I'm wearing...

    Necochino: no, that would something DN would say. This kid was far too young to think something like that. It was more like 'WTF is this huge guy doing with a kid's towel'?

    JorMig, era 'tráfico', che. Ya no se puede escribir dormido, no se puede...

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  5. le hubieras dicho de una: "si, es mio desde que nací..:"

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  6. That was very funny. Luckily you kept asking him the same question. It could have been a lot more embarrassing.

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