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Monday, May 28, 2007

Mc Idiot's

I don't like drive-throughs. Everytime I go to one of them I have the same problem: I don't understand a word they say through that thing. It led me to believe that my ear also has an accent.

With time, I learned to assume that they're saying something in the lines of 'can I take your order please' first, and then something like 'Coke to drink', so I reply accordingly. This reminds me of Marcelo, a co-worker who travelled with us to USA in 1997 and didn't know a word in English. He was going to be alone for lunch most of the times, so we taught him how to get by at any fast food joint. Here's the script:

Clerk: fWDQGERRQEGQERVE?
Marcelo: Combo number (insert number), please.
Clerk: 24t2efewfEEGWWFWw?
Marcelo: (insert beverage), (with_or_without_ice).
Clerk: 24t2fwDVSSVSDVSVSSVSD?
Marcelo: (for here | to go)

He was fine for the rest of the trip.

Here was my conversation at the McDonald's in Niagara Falls yesterday:

Guy behind the speaker: 2ttfwdvsTRJUEWREB?
Gabriel: I want a combo number 4, please, plain. Only cheese.
Guy behind the speaker: eqgravfbgjewrTA?
Gabriel: Diet Coke, no ice. Please, remember only cheese in my burger.
Guy behind the speaker: rweaserwhtwrefAWF?
Gabriel: No, that's all, thanks. A PLAIN cheesburger, fries and diet Coke, no ice.

I paid and drove away. Got to the hotel, changed my clothes and finally got ready to eat.

The burger had ketchup, mustard, onions, pickles, tomato, lettuce, cold syrup, melted crayons, worcestershire sauce, rice noodles, parts of a shoe and something that resembled a patty.

Idiots.

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